Swimming against the current - PH in piecing

[pearlharbr]

Oh yeah, this other guy was not being subtle at all. BF had never met him before and I've only met him a couple times myself. So in my mind BF should have stuck by my side and been more concerned about flirting guy's intentions than getting drunk. Makes me feel like I'm not as important as a night of cheap beer.

Tonight was kickball, BF is out of town but flirting guy (FG) was there. I think I did a good job of being friendly but not overly friendly with FG. It helped that my girlfriend who is the mutual friend through whom I met FG was there so I mostly hung out with her. But FG was still flirting with me. Or maybe I have an overactive imagination and now think every man who smiles and chats with me is hitting on me. I can't believe I'm actually having this issue. If you'd told me last year I'd be struggling to stay away from another man's attention I would have said you were totally off your rocker.

Had a little issue with BF tonight. We were talking and he mentioned going on another business trip the week after next. I told him I wasn't sure how I felt about him travelling with women who I'd never met and his response was he didn't know what to say (in a very flip tone). I got a little angry and said the least he could do was say nothing would happen and if he couldn't do that we are moving backwards.

Argh, this is just so frustrating! I know I can't ask him not to go on business trips, I'm just looking for some reassurance. I've told him that I need a lot of that right now. And yet he sounds like he's tired of it already. It's only been two months! This is what I was afraid of, it's too comfortable and he's expecting everything to be back to normal but it's only normal on the surface. Then I get angry wondering where he gets off being pissy with me when it's his actions that got us here. Grr.

Maybe I'm more upset because I talked to a friend today who I haven't talked to since BF and I got back together. She's the one I leaned on the most when it was all going down and she definitely does not approve of me taking BF back. She says she supports me no matter what but it's obvious that she does not agree. It was a little difficult explaining my decisions to her when all she can say is how can you trust him, why do you want to be with him, etc. I wasn't surprised by her responses, it's just emotionally draining.