you mention two things that were in my relationship so I will share another males perspective. If it helps great but just because it existed for me doesn't mean its right LOL!
As far as other couples reading prior to problems... we never did BUT they say 50% of marriages end in divorce. I would bet that the 50% that aren't divorcing are doing something more proactive than just waking up in the morning. Bet you're right that they at least are reading some stuff or at least talking about it
As far as the planning thing, same thing in my marriage. I am going to say this but please don't read anything into the way I write it... electronic communication is a minefield
My wife would plan stuff out, then tell me I that I never planned anything.
From my perspective:
She would plan so far out that things would be planned before I even thought about the weekend.
The majority of the time I was really okay with what we did, however the few times I would mention that I didn't want to do something she planned she would throw it back in my face that I didn't plan anything.
There were things she wanted to do but didn't feel comfortable doing without me (like take the boat out fishing), yet she never once said "hey, I would really enjoy doing this". And you probablly have the idea that if she would have I would have done it LOL! But I have heard it a hundred times that I didn't do these things.
So in hind sight. I am now a firm believer in doing things together. I think the best thing is to sit down and talk about this to the point of just making sure you guys are both comfortable with telling each other how you feel about it. I would bet that 90% of the time he really is okay doing what you have planned and just wants to be with you. And would rather let you plan out the stuff. However there are things he would like to do and jsut doens't tell you.
And I would suggest if you are the planner in the realtionship you should be able to figure out the things he really likes and just every once in awhile plan an activity that you know he likes even if you don't. That will go a long way I think.
My wife and I had different tastes in movies. We both liked action and drama, I avoided chick flics while she avoided comedies and fantasy. I know when things were good for us was when I would pick a chick flick every once in awhile and she would go to a fantasy movie out of the blue.
That's my umpteen cents.
i am really glad things have turned around so positively for you!!!!!
