If you want to really try to make your marriage work, "playing the field" will not help you. In fact, it will muck up the waters and make it all worse. You do have a choice, though. You either stay and work on the marriage, or you divorce.
By seeing if the "grass is greener" you are playing with the fire of emotions you can get with new relationships. Just like your H got his "high" with a new relationship, so will you; and the state you are in is not a good one to begin making new relationships. I can predict you finding someone who will take this pain away...someone who will make you feel like you MUST not love your H, because this new person makes you feel like you never have before. You'll think, "THIS is what love is!" But, it isn't. It is just new love, and you are older so what you do now in relationship will be different than what you did when you first met your H. So, it may be different, but it doesn't mean it is any more love than what you have for your H.
You didn't sign up for a spouse that would cheat on you. You can leave him. But, you can also work hard and have a better marriage than you can imagine right now.
I haven't read all of your situation so I may be missing some things, but it sounds as if you are doing all of the work. If your H isn't doing what you need, ask him to. Tell him what is needed for the marriage to get better. Get outside help if needed.
