Reading through your thread for the first time in almost a week I think, I see a lot of good things happening. The way you describe BF (good move I think!!) paints the picture of a guy that does really want you. Like was said earlier, he knows he f'ed up, but apologizing for that over and over again only brings it back to the surface. Giving you the details, same thing. It's better to just turn your thoughts to the future rather than try to understand the past, that's only going to bring hurt back up. Treat it like a brand new R, because that is what it is!