One of the realizations that I came to recently did help me alot mentally. I thought, what if my husband was diagnosed with cancer? What if he was schizophrenic or bipolar? Certainly I could expect alot of depression, or times when he didn't seem to know what he was doing. I wouldn't give up on him just because of that. I certainly consider the way he's acting now, having an affair and being totally selfish a mental illness. He is so different from the upright, honest and dependable man I married.
So, patience, patience and more patience. Keep trying those DB techniques.

Me - 38
Husband - 40 MLC!
Together 12 years
Married 11 years
Still the love of my life
Forever only lasted 10 years before his MLC and affair

H started D paperwork 5/13/10