I wrestle with the same thoughts even though I don't have a chance in hell of my H wanting to reconcile. I don't know what to tell you other than I wish you peace in your heart and mind. It took you time to fall in love with him before and it will take you time to fall in love again. Trust isn't something that is easily earned back after something like this, but there will come a time when you will trust again. Who is to say if it's him or someone else. All we have is our past to learn from, our present to live in, and a future that changes according to what we have happen in our lives on a daily basis. You are a very strong woman. You will go on.
"It is excruciating pain. It is the pain of separation, the pain of loss, the pain of dreams and expectations unrealized. It is the loss and death of a mirage."
