Swimming against the current - PH in piecing

[pearlharbr]

Hi sandycay, thanks for stopping by. (BTW, I grew up in Edmonds/Lynnwood!)

I have started to acknowledge his efforts. I sent him an email where I, among other things, listed as many things I could think of that he's done in the name of reconciliation. I also have invited him to do things with me and give him a hug every time we see each other.

Am I in or out? Still unsure but I think I have reached the decision that I need to try to be all in and see what happens from there.

Thanks for the visual on the trust issue. I was discussing this with Jon today and I do think the transparency plan will help get the ball rolling in this area.

I was frustrated with his lack of effort on the big things: transparency plan, setting up counseling, and working on improving himself. I feel like I am still the one doing the heavy lifting here and I'm not 100% sure I even want to be here. Since he's the one who wants reconciliation he should be the one taking steps to move in that direction.

I did just take matters in my own hands and spell out exactly what I wanted in the transparency plan. And he has said he will start searching for a counselor. After I threw down my pile of self-help books on getting through an affair he did take one home with him to read. But in all these things I am still the one taking the lead. I do not want to nag or drag him through the process. If he doesn't start showing some initiative I cannot believe that this is truly what he wants.

He knows that my stance re: OW is absolutely no contact. Period. The next time is the last time. I know about it because she sent him an email on Monday asking why he wasn't responding to her attempts at contact. It really sounds pathetic. And I am happy knowing that she's not going to get what she wants. Karma.

I called xBF this morning and asked if he wanted me to spend the evening with him. He wanted to know why because he knows I have the concert ticket. I awkwardly explained that if it was going to be difficult for him knowing it's the last night of bowling then I would be there for him. He just laughed and said no, he's going to be focused on winning the poker tourney so I should go to the concert but thanks for asking.