My take on a few things. Shots across the bow don't help reconciling.
He feels like poop, you don't need to help him out there.. Trust me he fathoms very well what he did to you. Do you want him to pay for that.... what does that look like?
He is taking the first big steps here. There needs to be some positive acknowledgement on your part.
I haven't followed your other threads, so I am not sure what your wanting to do here. Do you want to reconcile? Are you in or out?
Also, about the trust thing. I asked my IC last year during this process how I could ever trust again. Her answer is thing of it starting out as a little circle.... you see the phone records nothing is there .... that's a little circle of trust that's complete. He gives you all pass words another little circle complete. They build on each other. The circle of trust becomes bigger over time.
This is not an easy road and you two need couseling to figure out why and maybe one to help you deal with your feelings about it all. I know it helped me be able to get another persons point of view... and when H came back to my suprise my IC often stuck up for him and his actions.
She said if he had come back with no transparency, no remorse, or things of that nature.... he wasn't sincere in his attempt. Honestly, what else could BF be doing at this point? He is trying... is that what you want?
I am almost a year from my middle of the night phone call from H who was ready but tentative (because he knew it would be hard on me, to reconcile) for the most part ... the year has been great... there were stumbles.....on both of our parts but here we are.
Oh... I would say "He11, to the No" about seeing OW for closure.... that would be a deal breaker for me. How do you know about that?
As far as concert VS. poker night... I would do which ever one I felt like doing.
Best of Luck!
M:47 M:18 D16, S19 1st S 1/08-5/08 Reconciled/May 7, 2008 Left again Nov 9, 2009 I Filed: Nov 17, 2009 Final: April 14, 2010 EX walked away from kids too