Originally Posted By: pearlharbr
Thanks for sticking with me stuck, Puppy, Jon and Kenn.


those guys are giving great advice... I am just the sarcastic humor \:\)

Originally Posted By: pearlharbr
Hmm, have I done something to offend the women?
They just haven't found you yet or they are confused by the "guy" mentality and are sitting on the sidelines taking notes... It's a Mars thing

Originally Posted By: pearlharbr
I asked about starting counseling. He said he didn't know I was ready to start but if so then he'll start looking for counselors.


this is a Mars thing... bet you thought you had made it very clear? He is acting out while you are thinking out. Lets assume he is committed and sincerely regets what he did... now he is back in guy mode where if you don't spell it out ..he will not get it. No kidding ... yo have to be very careful not to fall into that trap of "you should have known what I meant"

Originally Posted By: pearlharbr
He feels frustrated because he's trying and doesn't feel like I'm acknowledging it or I don't think it's enough. So I told him that I do know he's trying but it isn't enough for me and I don't know if it will ever be enough. I don't want to sound harsh but that's the truth. I still don't know if I can or will ever get past this.


this is key PH.... you need to get pay attention to some of the advice from people who have gotten back together. Friend of mine is going through this right now. Power shift, and feeling shift. Seriously think about how long you took workig to get him back. do you think it will take less time to let him work backinto your heart? You need to give him that time. You decided to try and get him back, you decided to let him come back and now you have to decide to give it time. All the reasons and feelings that made you want him in the past are there, they are now jsut in the back ground because his is backand you can focus on other feeling instead of the loss.

Originally Posted By: pearlharbr

I told him I don't think he truly understands how hard this is for me.
Probably not.... But how did you feel when he left the first time? If he had said the same thing about you, would you hve said no I really do. I have realized the things I did wrong and want a second chance???????
Originally Posted By: pearlharbr
It is going to take time and effort.
yes it is! and this is where keeping a journal is just as important as it was during the seperation. Write down how you feel or the fun times each day or week. and then after a few weeks look back. If the fun times and intimate time are increasing then you are headed in the right direction. Just like when you first started dating \:\)
Originally Posted By: pearlharbr
At one point I did lean against him while we were sitting on the sofa. It was nice.


uh oh!!!!! she is starting to enjoy him again hummmm????

Originally Posted By: pearlharbr
He laughed and said I can if I want to but she's in her 40s.


what the H@#$ does that mean???? I don't like him already!!!!!!

Originally Posted By: pearlharbr
So what does that have to do with anything? And she has a boyfriend.
\:\)

Originally Posted By: pearlharbr
Before he left he wrote down all his email and phone passwords for me.
nice

Originally Posted By: pearlharbr
Today he asked if he can come by tonight after my dance classes and drop off the letter to OW.
double nice

Originally Posted By: pearlharbr
Yes, he seems to be saying and doing all the right things.
ya think LOL!

Originally Posted By: pearlharbr
It's good but I've been disappointed by him so much lately that I don't trust it to continue like this. I guess only time will tell.
you know PH.... so could the next three guys you date. The unfortunate reality of life is that 60% of people have interludes (or whatever you want to call them). You can take a shot on a guy that you know you have fun and are compatible with (8 years) if you believe that he is remoseful and you have both made the necessary changes OR you can go out and take a shot on the next guy you meet. You are right ... there are a lot of guys on this site that got it and made changes... but count the number of guys you see and then look at the statistics that 50% of marrages end in divorce. The majority of guys are just moving on and into the next relationship. Life is a crap shoot, your feelings for him will come back if you leave the door open, your trust will come back over time and if it doesn't work out - your friends will always be here for you and will always respect you for your committment!!!!!!

Oh and tell your boyfriend he is a punk for making fun of people over 40 LOL!

Last edited by Kenn; 04/29/09 03:42 AM.

my second thread