Antlers, I wasn't sure what you meant. I have noticed many believe that people should not date until the divorce is final and personally, I find that very unrealistic.
View, From what I have read, there is a lot more to a MLC than infidelity. Does your former spouse have other reasons to believe that you had or are having a MLC or did he/she grasp that in the hopes that you would come out of the "fog" and return to the marriage?
How long ago did your separation/divorce occur?
Whatever the reason for your infidelity you must try to understand that no matter what the state of a relationship, NOTHING is more painful than the discovery that a partner has been unfaithful. It shakes a person to the core; destroying trust, confidence, self-esteem, sense of stability, etc. All of this will take a long long time to recover from.
When I first ended my marriage, I was sad, uncertain and scared but was determined to move forward with my life. When I started discovering all of the things my now XH had done, culminating with discovering the affair, everything changed. It has now been ten months and I cannot begin to imagine starting a romantic relationship with anyone.
Are you still with the person you had the affair with? How is that relationship? Is he/she able to trust you given the old sayings "If they will do it with you, they will do it to you" etc.
