Antlers is right about cheating...it is wrong and I admit that and I believe if you do something wrong you should apologize and move on. That is what I have tried to do. As for the MLC stuff, to me this is just more psycho-babble--an easy to use term for a complex situation that is different for everyone. Judged, as naej put it? Oh my, yes, I have been judged up one side and down the other by my ex and (I believe) through her prompting even by my kids...I have caused a lot of damage, I know that, but I have been damaged a lot in the process...

I got married when I was 21...I'm about double that now...and I think I have learned a lot along the way and am much wiser and even better despite my failures. I am OK with where I am at. Maybe I do not have anything to offer...other than things tend to work themselves out in the end if we sometimes just get out of our own way...