I'm sorry, I must've missed this... what is going on with your health?
Oh, yes, my XH did a lot of bizarre things during our divorce. During the actual divorce process, although he did nothing to move the divorce along, he'd call/email me yelling that I had to stop delaying the divorce and that "it was going to happen" so I had to "deal with it."
People would tell me that his tactics were aimed at "buying himself time" to decide, was considering coming home, etc. The more I tried to interpret his craziness, the more crazy I got.
In my situation, my XH went off the deep end. He became the exact opposite of who we all knew him to be - slept with his married trainwreck assistant (left me for her), lied to everyone about everything (even small, stupid things), became painfully wishy-washy (could never say anything other than "I don't know"), dropped most of his lifelong friends, even started using phrases that sounded nothing like him.
I'd thought he'd gone totally crazy. He was (and I think still is) trying so hard to find "that thing" that will make him feel normal/happy again.
My divorce was finalized in October, I bought a new house in November, and after 2 years on this rollercoaster I think that I'm finally ready to start dating again. I had zero desire to date for the longest time but I'm slowly developing "crushes" again so that is fun.
From what I hear, my XH is dating assistant #2 and is oh-so-happy with her. In all, I'm focusing on moving forward while he is in the same ridiculous place he was 2 years ago with a different "under-study."
Yes, I agree that grieving the end of your marriage (at least your marriage as you knew it) is similar to grieving the death of a loved one... with the added pain of the rejection, humiliation and insensitivity...
Why do you think you are scared to be alone? Although that is a common feeling for people, I think the "why" is often different.
Me: 30 H: 31 Together: 8+ years, Married: 4+ years Bomb: May 2007 Divorce final Oct. 2008 No kids, 1 super-cute yellow lab