I'm sorry you're hurting so much. Our situations are very diff't but I relate to a lot of your feelings. My H also acts like he was no care for me and is very impatient to get a D. It hurts like heck! Someone needs to invent a pill to cure a broken heart :-).
Glad to hear you pray a lot. My faith has pulled me through and continues to strengthen me to deal with all the pain. I will keep you and your fam in my prayers.
Me:28, first M H: 33, second M Married: 08/08 Bomb: 10/08 H filed D and deployed: 12/08 Served: 04/09 I deploy: 07/09 Hearing date: 08/09