Kiwi - I think the best thing you can do is let her go. It will seem like the last thing you want to do but she aint coming bak to you like it is.
Sh maybe needs a chance to see what she is losing. she cant miss anything if you are smothering her. My H did this and I looked back but to late for me. My was years in the making and breaking. Might not be to late for you.