For the spouse who has Walked Away

[Bridgestone]

Hi Lodo,
Thanks for the kind words. I wish it was so easy with my H & me. But if it was I guess I would not be here now would I?

I remember reading another WAS's postings I think it was smartcookie and crying (& until lately, I have not been a cryer)because she so wonderfully articulated my feelings & thoughts in a way that I wish my H could hear how it was & still sometimes is to me.

I guess we get different things from different people's postings. Some of yours give me hope that people can see their role in the breakdown of the marriage and truly take responsibility for their part of the separation by making changes that are true to their values & beliefs.

I keep wondering though, even when LBS & WAW finally talk it all out, give it (the new "R") more chances... is there such a thing as incompatability.. or does the DB philosophy believe that once compatible (that's why you got married right?) always compatible?

Can I love him as a person, be his friend, and still not find enough things in common for values, recreation, intellectual pursuits, work habits, parenting, money matters, etc. for it to 'work' as a life-partner?

I remember my IC asking at one time.. if you were sitting across the table from him over dinner, would he be someone you'd want to have ask you out for a 2nd date? And my immediate and intense reactions was 'hell, no', I'm not even sure why I'd be on the first one.

Has he changed, yes he most definately has changed. Do I believe the changes are for him... some of them, yes. Others, no. I see him saying.. look at what I did or what I am, and then as you so clearly put in another post, gawking at me to see if I noticed.

uggg.. maybe I should start my own thread. I am finding my self getting long winded about my sitch are here a lot.

Thanks for listening.