Originally Posted By: Bridgestone
Before I can trust him enough to talk about hopes, dreams & fantasies we need to connect emotionally, before that can happen we need to communicate more effectively.. to do that we need help from a counselor who is not 'pushing' me to commit to a marriage first.

I have found the name of 3 counselors within an hour & half drive distance that have good reputations for solution-based counseling, that also specialize in communication skills & conflicct resolution training.

That is how I have started the ball rolling.

Hi Bridgestone,
That all sounds great. I guess I wasn't addressing my post at your sitch as much as I was asking. I believe that connecting emotionally REQUIRES you to open up first. It takes sharing a little of your inner life - not as puppy-love teenagers but as close adult friends who trust each other. There's that word trust again, and I guess that answers my question - you need to take that first step of trusting someone else in order to confide in them. And that's what most of us are lacking in our sitches - trust. I'm not meaning this to specifically address your mention of trust issues - just thinking aloud.

I'll be interested in hearing how your counselor has you work on communication. My W and I unfortunately communicate incredibly well. I say unfortunately because she is focused on herself and her career and doesn't place any value on our friendship and ability to intimately communicate. She wants to be alone and I have to respect that - I don't agree because I think it's hard to find someone you connect with and can communicate with, but I accept her decision.


Divorced: 10/26/08