do more of what works and less of what doesn't

You have to go back to the basics, be grateful for what you have and stop dwelling over what you may not have in the future.

Focus on the next day, the next hour, the next few minutes if you need to. Don't spend time worrying about what might be down the road. You'll twist your insides into knots

focus on the prize. Don't allow little bumps on the road to set you back. We are all looking for baby positive steps but you need to look at the big picture as well. Patience.

Today is all we have, I wouldn't poison it with thoughts of the past.

This is her decision to leave, I am not going to have any part in accelerating the process.

There is no WAY he's going to change his mind in 3 weeks. It will take months of him seeing a "new you" and new possibility of happiness with you to even possibly waver (and he may waver in his mind long before YOU see any sign of it, he doesn't want to set you up with "false hope").

Remember it is not you that is broken and it is not her that is broken......it is the relationship that is broken.
-Brandon Kirk

IT DOESN"T CHANGE HOW SHE WILL FEEL ABOUT YOU. You have to start from scratch again and try to become her friend through all this.
-Brandon Kirk

Love is not just an emotion it is an ACTION!

A real 180 is the COMPLETE OPPOSITE of your spouse's stereotype of you, or of the things that really annoy your spouse, or of your MORE OF THE SAME BEHAVIORS that are driving you further apart

Make sure you're NOT fishing for compliments, because that will backfire on you

I made a vow and Ill keep it until the end. Its her choice to walk and suffer the consequences that come.

try to be as neutral as possible when dealing with her. ONly talk about the kids and the house and business stuff...she is no longer your wife. In fact, I doubt if the wife you "knew" will ever come back. She'll either emerge a better person or she won't emerge at all and be stuck in MLC Hell.

The worst thing that ever happened to me has been the best thing that ever happened to me

If they are alone with those bad feelings still lingering inside, and you are nowhere in the vicinity, then perhaps they will begin to see that the pain they were feeling was really about something unhealed inside of them rather than something about you. You need to cut that link between bad feelings and you

Then, I saw this thread. I realized that I don't need to send her an email, or tell her any of that. It has all been said before. There is nothing more that I can say. I realized that actions speak louder than words. I have to stand back and leave her alone while she processes everything. While doing so, I have to discover what I am doing that drives her away. I have to work on myself so that the next time we are together she has a more positive reaction.

No one changed his or her behavior as a result of hearing how the behavior displeased others, even when the feedback was sincere and sensitively stated.

rehashing discordant feelings ad nauseum tends to emphasize their differences, making them more difficult to reconcile

Ironically, the very thing she was doing to improve her relationship with Hal was actually driving him away

real assertiveness means being able to decide if, how, when or where I make my needs known

"What is best for my kids is best for me"
Amor Fati
Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712