Some more:

Allowing yourself to feel, to be conscious, means that you feel the ups as well as the downs. Not wallowing -- just experiencing.
- MicheleTW

I told no one about his a. I saw with my friends how disclosure hurt long term healing, so chose not to share with any real-life-people. And I feel that my journey is a continuous one. So I want to preserve my privacy. It speaks volumes as to the state of our R though, doesn't it

I usually say even good marriages have roses with thorns and the strong people work thru the thorns.

Betsey pointed out that we move from unconscious-incompetence, to conscious incompetence, to conscious competence to unconscious competence. It seems to be a healthy outlook, rather than the complacency we used to have.

It's kind of like control...the more we try to exert control, the less control we actually have, and vice versa.

1. What do I really, really, really want?
2. Happiest moment today
3. Refine my mantra
-Elizabeth Gilbert

Am I doing this because it's what I need and want? Am I doing this to gain love, approval or attention from someone else? Is this in line with my beliefs? Will this help create a loving, healthy and nurturing environment for me and my family?"

I always liked the one about the Dog that runs from its owner. They chase it yelling , the dog runs harder and when it does come back they scold or hit the poor dog. So next time it runs off it runs further and for longer in fear of the scolding.If the Dog was rewarded for returning then it will not fear returning sooner the next time.I think the same with the WAS , if they see you and you are sad and make them feel guilty then they are not going to want to see you often.
- C_K

His pronouncement started a new life for me. Nothing is the same anymore. It's my life, my choices.

I've been told many times that when one partner changes, it changes the entire relationship.
- Kinlovewithm

don't try to talk her into anything (when you push, she will pull)
- Kinlovewithm

Even though my M was dead (old R), I owe it to my kids to keep trying. I once told my W that she tried to make our M work for 15 years, and there's no way I'm just giving up after 3 months

Do something active and positive as opposed to talking about what happened to make it bad.

the "why the wherefores and whens" mean nothing in comparision to the "WHAT are you going to do about it now!"

Once people truly feel understood, they often give themselves permission to look at things with more of an open mind. Reluctant spouses when seen alone often tell me, "Well, things aren't that bad, but I didn't want to say this before in his/her presence because I didn't want him/her to get his/her hopes up."

Although it may sound difficult and not the right thing to do, in situations like this, all we can and should do is listen, agree and validate their feelings.

.. repeat after me
I understand what you're saying. I need time to process this.

It's okay to do a 180 and start doing housework if you previously didn't, but just don't go overboard.

By the way, he's not making you crazy. He's not making this uncomfortable for you. You are making that happen. He doesn't have the power to control how you feel.
- Just_Me

I understand the uncomfortable silence, but you can control how you deal with it. You can choose to either break the silence, leave the room, go do your own thing.
- Just_Me

When he asks about your plans - be very, very vague and brief. "I'm not sure" or "I'll cross that bridge when I come to it" are perfectly valid answers.

FEAR - ever paralyzing. When I let that go, and started to LIVE, BREATHE, as if there was plenty of life to live, for me was out there it was a huge weight off my shoulders.

"What is best for my kids is best for me"
Amor Fati
Link to quotes: