My story is not new nor is it really all that different from everyone else's. Some remember me some don't. I'm not going to rehash my story other than to say I had a wah with OW over 5 years ago, seperation, H was sure he wanted D, he came home and it's been a rocky road ever since. I've tried the G.A.L in lot's of ways but I realize now what G.A.L truly means and I think many could benefit from some things.

When telling people on this site to GAL things like join a club or group, volunteer, find a hobby or get back to a hobby are often brought up but I don't really think that's what is intended by GAL.

GAL to me has been many things over the past 5+ years...I've done the volunteering, starting clubs/groups, hobbies, making new friends, getting out, keeping busy with the kids etc but nothing seemed to change the way I felt about my life in terms of the family or the marriage. Don't get me wrong I love my kids, love being a mom and actually do enjoy being a homemaker. What's been missing is a true relationship with my h. GAL is not going to help that when going about it this way. GAL will work if you picture what you want YOUR life to be with or without your spouse or any patner and go for it. If you'd like to be in a different career than start working toward it, different cirlce of friends then start working toward it. The key is it has to be real, what you want, what you've always wanted. If you are doing that and your potentially wayward spouse or wayward spouse see's that drive and new life in you and decides to participate in it with you then great...if not well you are on your way to where you want to be anyway with or without them.

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For those that do remember me (and I thank you for popping in when I do post) Things haven't changed much...I'm still afraid to upset the apple cart full of apples that aren't good enough to make a christmas pie. Constantly questioning if it is as bad as I fell it is or if I just can't get the mud colored glasses off. From my words above you may be able to figure out that I'm begining to take steps toward where I want to be in my life. I've realized that the kinds of things I've been doing to gal have been wonderful and helped me along the way but now I find myself in a holding pattern with h. If I can't motivate him to better our r (or recreate one is more like it at this point)I'll have to motivate myself, decide who I want to be and go for it. Enough letting this m drag me down. I'm going to start living the rest of my life now. I still hold hope that h will wake up some day and realize what is happening to our r but if history and the present are any indicator that's not going to happen. I know I'll eventually have to decide what to do. Can I really live the rest of my life without feeling loved, connected, appreciated, wanted by my husband? I don't think so but I'm still not ready to jump ship.

I'm not out trolling the board to stir things up...sometimes I just think people need to hear a truth, a realization etc. I may post this in "I'm thinking about leaving" as well...I think they could use a bit of "I'm not leaving until I'm sure I've done all I can and even then I'm going to make sure I've really really done all I can and don't just think I have"

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Any thoughts, questions or comments are welcome. I'll appologize ahead of time and let you know I can't read all your threads, it just pulls me further into the abyss.

LL
starting to grow legs but not to become a waw if I do walk it will be not be in a way that can be lumped into a label like that