Take a look at my original post, sounds very similar to yours. Hang in there if you want the M to work, the relationship with the BF will fade if you hang in there and support her no matter what!!!! Best of Luck!!!

Me 40, live in WAW
H 39
married 9 yrs
seperated 18 months, apart 7 months
D 4, 16
S 6, 19