My situation: Married for 10 yrs. 3 kids- 14, 8 & 6. Wife tries to reach out numerous times in early 07- i was ignorant, did not listen. May 07- she told me she does not lv me anymore. I did cartwheels until Jan 1, 2008. Then we separated but still live in same house for financial reasons. Almost immediately she now has divorced guy friend- they talk every night, go out, etc. my life changed when i read "the book." wife swears she not physical- but it does not matter she's having at least having an emotional affair. now pushing for divorve- feb. 11th- we were only separated for a month. i think the push is so they can start getting physical.

i am spending my time w/kids. taking them to church & giving them lots of attention. since housing market is in slump and we have alot of debt- wife and i are going to live together to pay bills so when house sells we can walk away with cash. i love her now more than ever and understand why she's running away full speed. we are good friends though and do not fight.

wifes family does not know of her late night chats or meetings w/the other guy. i am certain that over time- 1 or two years her relationship will fail (a least i hope). I am very ready to toss in towel but know deep down inside- things would be different if this other guy (a longtime friend of family whose got money) wasn't in picture. but i cannot compete because she in a fantasy world.

I am very concerned about kids welfare and the speed at which she is moving. she certainly does not hide her "friendship" to our kids and i know their confused. anybody got any advice????