The way I see it anyone trying to restore their M whether a "newbie" arriving here on their first day to already D'd and still believing in the possibilty of getting back together again are all trying to put the pieces back together again. So if you're comfortable here ... welcome!
Quote: I just dont see how I can get beyond all that has happened and ever be happy w/him again.
Ironic how the perspectives reverse themselves. This is exactly the way the WAS view the R when they decided to turned away! It is only with being consistant with our changes over time that we were able to convince them it can be turned back around again for the better.
... and that is exactly what will need to happen to change your current outlook of the future ... by showing consistantly over time in his actions from here on out that he can be trusted.
Take it one day at a time ... keep you mind open to the possibilty that one day it can happen ... for now act "as-if" you're giving him the benefit to the doubt because one day the trust will be there ... give him time to convince you with his actions that you can trust and respect him again and it will take a lot of time for you to become convinced, so it will take lotsa patience from you that he will have to repeatedly prove it to you before you will accept it.
Just as it took time for your 180's to seem real to him, it gonna take time for you to trust his "new" changes are real too.
'til later, KAW
Read about Divorce Busting« Telephone Coaching here!