Dim Vs Dark. Stop entering into OR talks with him. I don't think you give any of your strategies enough time to determine if they will work or not.
If he starts an OR talk, stop trying to seize control of it. Listen, and answer his questions with short breif sentences. Ask no questions of your own.
His first reaction is gona be withdrawal. He does this to figure you out. Then you panic and change back and whamm, your back to square 1.
Whatever your plan is, you need to implement it consistantly and give it at least 2 weeks to a month to see if it works. Unless there is a severe adverse reaction, stick to it.
I'm not an advocate of darkness. Not for you. Instead, start your detatchment in stages. This is what dimness is about. Never totally detatch. Just go far enough to make it look like you are moving forward in your life regardless of H. Let H see that his crisis is his problem. Do it with actions, not words.
Never make it appear that you don't care. However, make it obvious that you refuse to let his crisis and his choices pull you down.
Ya gotta be strong darlin. Don't know what else I can offer to you.
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