From HOPE.....

*****************************************************

The first thing that you must do though is decide if, you want your H back. I wanted my H back.

I gave him all the space he needed. He left me. During this time I tried my very hard to focus on myself. I had changed over the years and really wasn't happy with the turn our marriage had taken. I had stopped meeting his needs, it was kind of like tit for tat.

When I would see him I would try to act very upbeat. No one really wants to be around someone that appears down all the time. I would smile, smile and smile. I eventually learned not to discuss OR with him or the ow. This always turned into an arguement. The last thing I wanted to do was argue. When I did see him I looked my best. These are all the same things that I used to do early in our marriage and when we dated.

In an odd sort of way, I became the ow.
I would laugh at his jokes and show interest in everything that he wanted to talk about. I didn't give him my opinion on anything, I only listened.

All the while I was doing this I could see that it was working. It took a very long time. Yes, he was having his cake and eating too. BUT, he also started to realize that maybe he may lose me for good. I think that it is very important to keep the lines of communication open.