My situation began to turn around when one night when I had been reading to my two little ones I felt this overwhelming rush of knowing that no matter what happened everything would be alright. I continued to love my H thereafter, but was able to say, "he has to go through what he has to go through on his timeline." I became more confident again and I think that ultimately was more appealing to my H as he realized I still wanted him back, but did not need him back--life would go on. It seems pretty universal that walkaways hate or, at least, are not equipped to deal with, neediness and will crawl deeper into their caves when they sense it in their spouse. Perhaps it's mostly subconscious, but they really very often seem to have so much on their own plates to contend with that anyone else's needs puts them over the edge. None of this justifies their conduct, but it does possibly help to understand it when you detach from the patterns.
As always, best of luck--Jamie
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