No one person can hand you a win (if win is defined as reconcilliation). A win depends on three things. You and your attitude, your W and her attitude and the grace of god. I realize that unlike many friends on this board, I was very lucky. I actually saw what was happening before the bombs started falling. My W did'nt want to talk about anything as she was lost in her own personal crisis. I found Micheles DB book about a week before the S talk bomb fell(again luck).
I had been struggling with my R with W for a year and the DB book was the first time I had some tools to use (you know guys and tools). Our first C told me it was hopeless and to prepare for W to leave me. I was losing everything I cared about and I was desparate. I chose to follow her advice to the best of my ability. Did I backslide? You bet. Did people on this board help pull me out of despair? you bet. Are things improving? Yep. Could my situation turn about and take a dive? possibly.
I'm rambling as I'm a little confused on the jealosy comment. I guess I always looked at my battle as a personal one. I asked advice and processed the info and made my own decision wether to apply it or not. I listened to alot of good advice from this board. Most of it consistant with Micheles principles.
In the end it was my W who made the final choice to work on reconcilliation. Her choice, which I had no control of, is what has brought us back into a positive relationship.
My head is pretty much cleared out at this point. I can see my struggle in others on this board. My advice to all is stick to Micheles principles. Use the board when you are confused as to whether you are applying it properly. Don't rely on any one person (except yourself) as having the answers. After all, it's your M and your life.
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