Here's one from Chrissa!

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The Last Resport Technique does not equal stopping all contact. A lot of times you will get that idea from the way people are applying it, but that is not true, especially if you have not been communicating well, or at all, recently.

Here is a summary of the LRT, which is in Chapter 6 of Divorce Remedy:

1. Stop the chase. This means do not act desperate. Do not cry, beg, pursue, buy gifts or flowers, or say I Love You. If you do, you will make her feel guilty and angry, which is not pleasant, and she will not want to be around you. This does NOT mean you totally leave her alone, especially if that was one of the main problems that led to her leaving.

2. Get a life. If you are too obsessed with the breakup, you will be depressed, moping, and not a lot of fun to be around. Why should she want to be with you when you are like that? Besides, you are miserable, which is no fun for you. Go out with friends, join a class, go to the movies, start a hobby, do whatever it is that you enjoy. Stay busy. Try to think of what attracted her to you in the first place, and do that. Did you go to museums together? Were you a good cook? Make yourself attractive to her (not just physically), and make yourself as happy as possible, which is also attractive. Plus, throw in a few things that are totally out of character. Never been to an art show? Start going. Never been interested in water skiing? Time to take it up. Shake things up a little, do the unexpected.

3. Wait and Watch. This is where patience comes in. Watch to see how she responds. If you are doing the right things, it will make her curious as to what you are up to, and will make her more interested in being with you. If you are not catching her attention after a few weeks, try doing something different. Once you get her attention, talking to her is fine, but don't get grabby or overexcited, stay cool, be vague about what is going on, and DO NOT talk about your relationship. DO NOT talk about the divorce. Sooner or later she will initiate talks, but for a while, if she starts to, steer the conversation to other topics.

Think of this like reeling in a fish. If you don't set the hook just right, if you panic and try to reel it in too fast, it will get away. Move very slowly, and you will be fine.

One trick that has served me well is to act with total unconditional love. Be a friend, be non-judgemental, act out of love and consideration for her best interests. She will probably be angry and grumpy at first, but keep at it, don't get discouraged, don't believe all the negative stuff that she says, and eventually she will start responding to you.

Do not do anything to encourage the divorce or help it along. Once you get the book, start working on setting out some goals. This is very, very important. And above all, it is not too late until YOU decide it is!

I hope this helps explain WHY you need to get on with your life. You need to become attractive and pleasant to be around, so she will want to be with you.


JJ

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