From zebra........

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Wayne...

DR (Divorce Remedy) is a bit more of a systematic approach to the principles in DB....

Some thoughts... There's a lot in your post that you can work on. First, You mention that you don't have anything else to live for, and that you have little faith in the DB ideas of improving and taking care of yourself... That can be a lot of the problem. You've put your happiness and your reason for living on her, and she doesn't want the responsibility of both your and her happiness. What works it to make yourself attractive to her again, make her fall in love with you. Remember what it was that brought you two together in the first place. It wasn't neediness and dependence.

Another thing you've said is that you are an avoider. Well, that's another biggy you'll read about here. It's really a communication thing. A '180' might be to stop avoiding, to participate, to share your feelings and thoughts, even if you think they might sound a bit negative. Don't push them, don't defend them... just state them and if she resists, or ignores them, drop it. They're out there and she'll know what you think and feel and won't have to guess.

Don't try to figure her out. Don't try to convince her that her feelings are wrong. Don't plead with her to love you again. She's confused and she's sorting a lot of stuff out. She says she doesn't love you.... Well join the club. We have all heard that and much worse. It's her confusion about what she wants, what she needs. What she doesn't need is any more negative feelings toward you.

Take care of you. Get out, do things for you. Invite her, be her friend, but if she refuses to join you, don't take issue, but go anyway. Find things to do for you, and try to do them away from the house. Create a little mystery about yourself. Don't hide things, just don't volunteer things unless she asks, and don't resent her if she doesn't ask. Take care of you, and make her curious about you, and make yourself attractive to her.

z


JJ

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