Here's a great post from Gonna_work regarding 180's.....


I think before you can really find 180's that work, you need to spend a bit of time studying interactions. Here are few I found that might fit for you because we too, didn't seem to have things that annoyed each other.

1) Eye contact - I was the consumate multitasker - always doing 20 things at once. Now, I make conscious effort to stop what I am doing, look at H, make and sustain eye contact and listen to what he is saying.
2) I had a habit of finishing H's sentences. I now wait for him to finish his thoughts before replying.
3) I also had tendency to offer unsolicited advice and solutions to problems. I now try not to offer advice unless asked.
4) Here is a little one that I hung on to forever - don't ask me why. I would always greet H warmly at end of day and say " how was your day? Anything interesting happen?" It NEVER worked! He always would say fine and no and that was that. It took me a long time to give it up by I finally did. Now, I greet him with a hello and leave it at that. And you know what, after he unwinds a bit, he usually tells me about his day. I then practice the other things above which keep the conversation going.
5) I had stopped noticing all the small things that happen that should result in pleases and thank yous. I now try to treat spouse like I would a best girlfriend or stranger. I say thank you when he opens doors, does anything around the house, etc. I say please way more often too.

Those are just some ideas. Others for me were limiting outside activities (flies in the face of getting a life) but reality was I had too much of a life outside of marriage. Also, purposefully spending time in prayer and scripture became my means of getting a life. I have found tons of nuggets of wisdom in scripture and try to apply it daily.


Read about Divorce Busting Telephone Coaching here!