You mentioned being laxed in the ILY department. I think you should casually bring it back into the relationship as a 180. Start simple. When he calls and you are saying goodbye (and "thank you for calling")simply throw in Love ya. (quickley at the end). Anytime he is leaving the home and says goodbye, do the same. Bring it up a notch as time goes by "Love ya babe". Then in time "Love you Honey" or whatever pet name you give him, until you get to where you want to be "I love you" (with good eye contact). Don't expect to get responses to your ILY's, but be consistant anyway.
He mentioned he cannot bear to be around you and stays away. You need to do something that will make him feel welcome and appreciated when he does come home. No nagging of time or places. Just "I'm glad you are home" and mean it. Try subtle touches in passing. (Even when he flinches) Rethink your behavior and what got you here. Have you acknowledged what he does instead of what he does not? Start picking out the positives, (like how wonderful he is with his son)and mention them to him. Try to make him feel important and needed and he is number one. The same way you would like to feel.
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