Here's some wisdom from Trying24now that she posted on JPDW's thread that I thought belongs here, too!!

Quoting Trying24now:

Quoting :
I'm just afraid that I'll be going through what T2 went through when her H tried to come home too early. And that I have a LOT more pain and waiting to go through before H and I will REALLY get our marriage back together on a strong foundation

Then DON'T....

Here are some of the things I did during Hs and my 1st attempt to reconcile that RAN him back out of the house.

I was whiny (literally I cried over everything from a glance to a "cold hearted word")

I hounded him constantly about his whereabouts and no matter what he answered I'd 'act as if' he was lying. I was trying to show him that he couldn't be trusted.

I searched his car for evidence of a continued A. (found nothing but he knew I'd done it and of course resented that)

I checked his cell phone after he went to sleep at night and wrote down all the numbers into and out and then checked them on the reverse phone number web site. I made myself nuts doing this, never found another womans #, but did continued to make myself nuts doing it anyway.

I threw his A and my fear in his face on an almost daily basis.

I kept myself so paranoid and miserable that I BUILT a case against him even with no "proof" or indication that there really was a reason to.

I teetered between clingy and cold.

I pushed for "intimacy" in a way that made HIM feel like he had to prove something to me. (It made him nuts, but I kept pushing anyway)

I did everything wrong that you can imagine. I sabatoged my own reconciliation with my fear, neediness and need for "pay back."

So, if YOU'RE happy that he's back, and you're REALLY looking to renew your M...DON'T do any of the stuff that I did or your attempt at reconciliation will implode.

LOL PS: Just re-read my post and had to laugh, seeing that all in writing made me think...geez, no wonder it didn't work and no wonder he's gun shy about coming home again. I'd be gun shy too if I knew there was a chance that I'd have to endure all that crap for another 4 months.


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