"The more you work the program, the more the program will work for you."
The situation that you're in right now, especially as a newcomer, is probably one of the most difficult, most emotionally-charged situations that you've ever faced. Although you may feel that you need to "react" and respond to this situation "right now", doing so blindly may only hold you back in your efforts.
When you first got your book, did you go back to the index pages, and look for advice on your particular situation?! I must admit that I did! Many "self-help" books that I've read are layed out so they have some very specific "answers" to very specific "problems". They work on a "one-size-fits-all" theory, which, although it might make them "popular" at the bookstand, it doesn't always help to make them "effective".
Even though all of us here have some things in common, each of our situations is unique. On the other hand, although our situations are unique, the answers to our problems will usually have one thing in common: learning how to be solution-oriented.
Take care to not skip over any of the "methods" here, or any of the chapters in the books, thinking that they don't apply to you. You might find something "hidden" in them that will give you some ideas on how you can help create positive changes in your relationship.
Don't work harder, work smarter!
Read about Divorce Busting« Telephone Coaching here!