I wanted to re-post this here for future reference.
Originally Posted By: always_14
Nicola, your thread, as usual, spawns great insight to what many of us are starting to focus upon....what is a healthy R?
You and your H have different versions, standards and expectations of M, R and mutual growth.
Your H cannot give you what you need in a R/M. You can either lower your standards and be unhappy, unfulfilled and low self-esteem.....or find that within and perhaps in someone else again.
I definately feel for your thoughts of "will I find love again." I went through that early this year, and even expressed those feelings to H. I told him my greatest fear was that I could not love like I loved him.
Since then, I have let that go without even trying. I see now that I loved H, very much, but I think that I can do that again. And, perhaps with someone more healthy, compatible, and find a deeper love....more than the superficial, passionate, crazy love. It was deep in areas, but when tough times came, here I am.