I get the kids every Thurs and every other Fri - Sun; 10 days out of 30. We alternate holidays and I get them more in the summer so it works out to about 40/60. This is ordered by the court for every pending D; it was not worked out between W and I.
I want to say 40/60 sucks.
But it was worse here not very long ago: every other Fri and Sat - 4 days a month. But the "father lobby" has had an effect since the judges are elected. The judge I got is as pro-dad as I could get. He is responsible for this new "visiting" schedule and he talks to father's groups. But the woman is still in the driver's seat. I love the term "visitation" BTW, makes me feel like an empowered father.
As WCW points out I effectively moved out twice so now my chances of getting anything other than this schedule are slim. My lawyer says the judge likes to award 50/50 if he can so he can show pro-dad groups a record at election time. However, a judge will normally do what the children have been doing if there has been no ill effects. So, if the kids have been on this schedule for a year and the kids are doing okay (and that is true, W is not a bad mom in the legal sense) the judge will say why change it. This is a safe legal position for him as it is best not to impact the kids.
So, I was willing to basically accept this schedule if she would agree to minor changes and some clauses in the parenting plan to ensure just b/c it is 40/60 I am still a parent - not a "visitor" (joint legal custody is not a given here either). This judge did issue some parenting provisions but they are not all inclusive. I wanted more protection so I do not have to take her back to court each time we disagree. But she tossed it back in my face. Like I said - she is in the driver's seat. Do I spend $15,000 to $25,000 on a trial or just accept the fact I am screwed?
Can I move back in? My W would file to get me removed and I would be tossed out faster than rotting fish. I have been gone a year. It matters not I did it for her and the kids (okay, I also did it to try to get her to reconsider). She will claim I abandoned her.
I gambled and lost.
I feel screwed and very angry again. Not a nice feeling. But that is how it has been lately. Screwed and life sucks. Bend over Jeff. SMACK!!!