Well that truly sucks. Court ordered mediation and counseling are the best way to go, especially when there are kids.
AL has always been such a quaint, dark ages kind of place. Don't drop that net down over the whole South; [censored], Georgia even manages better than that.
And I didn't mean refrain from reacting to her; I mean it's time to take emotions entirely out of your thinking about this. Separate the TERMS of your divorce from the fact that you are getting divorced. Be emotional all you want about the end of your marriage, but as for arriving at the terms under which you go forth, no emotion there.
As we often say on the MLC threads, this is business now.
That's why, once you cross the threshold into discussing the terms of a D, you hand it over to the L and let them do the negotiating.
There may come a time when you two can sit across a table and discuss this like grown-ups, but you're not there yet.
"Go where your best prayers take you." -- Frederick Buechner