BA – interesting h’scope. I am in tune with my current *lover*, all three: me, myself, and I. Truth be told, that is the only adult R I think I could handle right now.
WCW: Thanks. I know it is hard on W but what pisses me off is that they somehow think they have a right to hurt us again and again and then just say “sorry”. That does not hack it any longer (I used to preach empathy here – I guess I am just pissed now).
I agree. While she admits that I am a good dad, she has not accepted the fact that I am an equal parent here and so she does react protectively. Understandable, but too bad for her – she will just have to get with the program and learn to live with the consequences of her choices. She will in fact not always be there for our kids when they get hurt or feel hurt. She will miss things in their lives. I did not write the law. D sucks – and she may be finally realizing it.
I will not rub her face in this. This is something she needs to figure out alone and accept. But I will hammer her foot if she crosses that line; that line being if she implies I am not being a responsible father b/c she could not be there for them or b/c she disagrees with a decision I made or b/c they are feeling the affects of the separation/D. That is my boundary.
I do try to be there for the kids but I also try to keep my distance and not come between them and W. S6 told me earlier in the week that she missed mom and mom told her I was not coming home. And it was the first Easter where she was not with her mom. So, while I did assume that was the reason for crying, I thought it was a safe assumption. But my W chose to believe otherwise (something was up at my place, not the fact of D) so I guess I do need to ensure I at least ask if my kids seem sad or emotional. I will be more sensitive to that. I also think my son is hurting and while I cannot be sure I do have that feeling. I am at a loss of how to really deal with that. Again I need to be there for him should he need me but I have not brought it up.