I tend to agree with elmrjfud on this one, it's a tricky wire to walk. I think I fell into much the same trap as fud did. I was really keeping away from my W, left her completely alone even if she called me I sometimes wouldn't call her back. She told me recently that it made her angry that I didn't return her call. Now, she too has pulled far away and is going full steam ahead with the D.

The point is, be careful. You don't want to ignore her, you just want to detach. Again, it's a tricky situation.

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She moved out very soon after, and is filing for divorce very soon.