Feel this is where I should be.

[Lost_for_now]

I have a feeling that I will be seeing STBXW today. I think she will be coming over to the house to pick up tax stuff to send in. I am pretty scared about seeing her. It has been around 10 days since I have seen her and the interactions we have are sterile. Cordial, but completely sterile.

It is so uncomfortable for me (and I'm sure her) to be together now. She clearly doesn't want to be there, and I know the reason she wants to leave is to probably be with OM. Not a good situation for either of us.

That just made me think of something else. One of the things that started happening that made me very suspicious that she had an OM was the fact that she completely stopped changing clothes in front of me. If she was showering, she would keep the door totally closed and then just move into another room with a towel on, close that door, and get dressed. Once, we went out of town on a trip and again, when she changed she would go into the bathroom and shut the door to get dressed. I knew then that there was probably someone else.

Now for the bizarre part. I really believe that the reason she was doing it was that she would almost feel like she was 'cheating' on the new man if I saw her without her clothes on! The irony would be funny if it didn't rip my heart out.

Can't wait for this day to be over with. I will be very glad when it's over.

One last thing. Thank GOD for my dogs. Two labs, one black and one yellow. They are truly lifesavers every single day. I would recommend dogs to everyone, but espcially people in my situation (no kids) who would only be coming home to an empty house or apartment.