I'm sorry you are here and SH is helping you rather well. There are a few things I would love to touch on though.
1. Let her be. In every way, shape and form let her go. This requires amazing amounts of strength, but it can be done. Try not to think about what she is doing, who she is with, where she is eating.......etc. Let her be.
2. Get out for you. Live YOUR life. Focus entirely on YOU. That's who this is about. Face your demons. Work on your issues. No matter what happens with your W, this will really help you in the long run.
When it comes to your R.... Just BE. If she calls and starts talking, then that is what she does. You have no control over her or her actions. You can only focus what you do now. Keep things light with her and let her dictate all of it.
Go read some other people's threads who have been down this road. OSU, Swashy, Mr. Highspeed, Sofaraway, Myself (formerly confused mess) ....We all started about the same time and things have progressed differently for each of us, but we all have one thing in common. We have no CONTROL!!
M-35 going on 15 D-8 S- 3 yrs ex-CL(w)- 30
D over one year
I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be. Douglas Adams "Just Be"