Originally Posted By: still hoping
To this I'd have to say that if you do truly love your W and want to be with her, wouldn't you want her to be happy??? And wouldn't you want to share in her happiness? I would definitely listen to what she has to say if you're trying to get her back. If you're not interested, why do you want to be with her? (Or am I misunderstanding and do you mean when S talks about OP?) If your W wants to reconnect and you're trying to save your M, I would jump at the chance - ALTHOUGH don't make it so obvious. You can seem interested by asking questions, but not overly interested. Like someone else said, when S gives an inch, don't take a mile. If you want to p*ss her off, then go ahead and tell her you're not interested (not recommended).


I think I did a lousy job explaining what is in my head. What I mean to say is, I would love for her to tell me things, and I am genuinely interested in what makes her happy and how her job is going etc. I would love for her to tell me that!

However, I would NOT love it if I was only hearing it because she thought she was 'being friendly' or something like that. In other words, I think I would fall into the trap of assigning too much importance on it because it's what I want so much.

So, the same thing might apply in your situation too. You mentioned that your H cannot talk to OW about certain things like his job. So then your task becomes not reading too much into what he is doing right?

I guess what I'm really saying is, how do you really separate being happy for them from wanting to be with them again?

Thanks again for replying to me!


Current thread

Me-38
W-31
No Kids
Bomb-10/10/06
She moved out very soon after, and is filing for divorce very soon.