Journaling is great. I write letters to my H that I never give to him. I express my thoughts on this site just to get them out of my head and reread them to see how crazy they sound. I think you should continue to journal, but I think you should ABSOLUTLEY STOP sharing your journals with her! Like you said, they are for YOU and your growth. I don't think you are accomplishing anything by having her read them too. Even if you are writing about how much you've changed, etc., it's useless unless she sees it in your actions.
Hang in there - it's not over yet. If you want someone to read what's in your head, put it down here on this site - not in an email to her!
First, thank you so much for replying to my thread, I appreciate it!
Second, you are absolutely correct. In fact, in one of the emails I sent my W I realized the same thing and said that I really need to buy a journal for myself. The additional nice thing about the hard-copy journal is that it's easy to just flip back and see the progress you have made over time. Okay, it's decided. I will go out and buy my own journal and stop sending her emails.
I think that a part of me that I wasn't acknowledging still saw those emails as a way to try to 'win' her back. No more of that.
Oh, and feel free to bash me as you see fit! No one here is perfect, so if bashing were only allowed from people who never made the mistakes it'd be a lonely place indeed! I thank you for correcting my course.
Me-38 W-31 No Kids Bomb-10/10/06 She moved out very soon after, and is filing for divorce very soon.