It isn't that I didn't know this was coming but it still hurts. That is, unless I am overreacting. As I have said, my W has been living in an apartment for six months now.
Through our earlier correspondence I told her that I would probably end up renting a place after the house is sold. Apparently she needs to be out of her current apartment by june. She informed me that she would either be moving back in with her parents or moving into an apartment with 'a friend' as she put it. Now, I know all of her friends so the fact that she didn't name this friend is shady. Can she really be moving in with OM? According to HER, they have only 'been on one date' so something isn't adding up.
So anyway, she tells me that she has this idea that we should sell the house by owner to try to save money. Well, I cannot afford to carry both the hous and apartment financially. I am not leaving the house until it sells. Why should I, it's my house!
I know that there was already only the slimmest of chances that she would come back to me, but this is just more proof that she is done.
I was having a great day, I hadn't heard anything from her since Monday and I think it was really to my benefit. I felt better and more optimistic about my future. I was going to the gym every day and really doing much better. Then BANG, one tiny email from her and I feel like I am back at square one. Thank goodness I haven't called her, that would be a disaster
I think a lot of us here fall victim to seeing a lot of reactions from our spouses as positive steps or 'baby steps' or whatever when in fact they are nothing of the kind. Speaking for myself, I think every move that I thought was positive was just her trying to be nice in order to 'help me' through this. It is the same idea as them wanting to remain 'friends' I think.
I guess I am just looking for a kick in the pants here. I need to NOT allow what she does control the way I feel. Only I can control that. It just stinks because she gets back in town this weekend and so next week she will push for the sale of the house and she will also file for divorce.
ONE positive thing I have learned from being apart from her is that I am able to get better. Like I said, if we don't have any contact at all for several days I actually start to hurt less. Of course, it's been 6 months now since she moved out so maybe I should be at that point.
Any input would be appreciated.
Me-38 W-31 No Kids Bomb-10/10/06 She moved out very soon after, and is filing for divorce very soon.