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I have bounced around a couple forums and feel that at present this is the place I need to be. I have found recently that my wife is seeing someone else. Everyone that is here has experienced the feelings that I have been going through.
A brief recap of my situation, pasted from "Surviving" where I had originally gone after Newcomers. I came here because even though I feel I am on the expressway to D I am not there yet.
Anyway, my situation:
The details of my story can be found in the links in my signature for those that are interested. Briefly, my WAW up and left in mid-October and moved into an apartment. That was the first bomb dropped, and probably hit me the hardest. I have since done much in the way of GAL and I tried to DB my butt off. At several points I truly believed things were changing for her but I was disappointed at every turn.
Through what I call this personal growth period I figured out that following our marriage I sank into a pretty severe depression. I retreated from my W and my marriage. As an aside, my W and I were married in August '05 so the walls came tumbling down fast for us. I was pulling away from my W so much that she really felt alone in the marriage. After several months of this she had had enough and left. I would guess it was a period of 6 months or so that I was at my worst. Add to that the fact that she wanted kids and I (at that time) did not and you get where I am now. She had denied from the very start that there was an OM but I always felt there was in my gut.
Long story short, I found out yesterday that she is seeing someone. No surprise, but man it still was a punch to the gut. I always felt that if I just knew if there was an OM it would make me feel better. See, I needed a reason that all this was happening to me and what I had been given just wasn't adequate. But with an OM in the picture it would answer so many questions. Be careful what you wish for I guess. Now I can't stop thinking about my wife with another man. It's awful.
Upon learning of this new man I asked her who else knew and she toldme no one. I told her that was going to change. Not my finest DB moment but I emailed her mother and let her know what was going on. We have a good relationship and my W's mom and dad have been as baffled by my W's behavior as I have. I told them because they actually suspected it was a possibility as well but dismissed it with 'she wouldn't do that'
Well guess what, she did. Now my wife is claiming that it was 'just one date, only went out for coffee, didn't even kiss him!' But hoe do I believe a sigle word that comes from her mouth? I don't. Believe none of what they say and only half of what they do, right?
Fact is, I believe that if that really was their first date then he wasn't the first guy she's dated since our problems started. Of course up until the latest bomb she had been very adamant about remaining friends throughout this. She realizes now that that is impossible. I now understand that it was only to soothe her own guilt. If we are still friends, then I am okay and she didn't hurt me. Crazy way of thinking...
Anyway, as of now she has informed me that we will have no more communication and she will not be answering any more of my questions because all I ever do is take what she says and throw it back in her face and she's not falling into that trap again. All her words, not mine.
She goes to Vegas for this whole upcoming week for work and she has informed me that when she gets back from Vegas she will be getting our carpets cleaned as well as some of the walls repainted so as to get the house ready to sell. Oh, and she will also immediately be filing for divorce. Another nice punch to the gut for me.
So here I sit waiting to get served.
Me-38 W-31 No Kids Bomb-10/10/06 She moved out very soon after, and is filing for divorce very soon.