A lot of times I only care how others feel. I hate making others feel bad or that I let them down. So a lot of times I just suck it up and worry about the other person.
Do you see how disingenuous this can be? you're not being forthcoming about your needs, which ultimately breeds resentment and problems in relationships.
You guys really need to work on your communication with a professional.
Why do you think you make others' feelings a priority over your own? This is worth exploring in IC.
Me:39 Ex-W:37 M:7 T: 9 S:6 D:3 BD/IHS/Confirm EA/PA: Feb '20 OM1 affair ends: May '20 W/OM2 & moves out: June-July '20 W files for D: Jul20 OM2 confirmed: 9/2020 Divorced: May '21
She didn’t leave last night. We had a long talk. She apologized for many of the things she has done. How she speaks to me, he fits of anger, how affectionate she is.
This is a positive. It's good she apologized for things and you two could discuss the situation as rational adults. Sounds like a productive conversation.
Originally Posted by Wolfman
But to me those are just words. Let’s see if these are real changes.
Agreed. Always actions over words. Time will tell. In the meantime keeping working on yourself and what you can control.
Originally Posted by Wolfman
I made her aware from day 1 I had kids and they were active. I guess she is realizing that a parents life with active kids is dedicated to the kids 95% of the time. She doesn’t agree with that.
It's hard to understand how demanding being a parent is until you are one. Perhaps she'll appreciate you being a father to other children as she sees what it takes to parent your baby.
That said, careful with making that percentage too high...you're relationship with her has to be a priority too. Too many people here disregarded the relationship with their partner in favor of the kids only to end up with a broken marriage or relationship. Take time away to cultivate your relationship: date nights...etc.
Originally Posted by Wolfman
If she can ever learn to make my son to feel like her own, she would look at life differently and our relationship would be a lot better. When my son is not around she is sweet as pie and happy. Once he comes around she is a whole other person. Jekyll and Hyde.
It's not her own, and it never will be. But I agree she needs to accept he needs to be one of your top priorities or it'll never work. Like you said if she can accept and even embrace him that certainly wouldn't hurt.
Me:39 Ex-W:37 M:7 T: 9 S:6 D:3 BD/IHS/Confirm EA/PA: Feb '20 OM1 affair ends: May '20 W/OM2 & moves out: June-July '20 W files for D: Jul20 OM2 confirmed: 9/2020 Divorced: May '21
Last edited by job; 11/29/2204:36 PM. Reason: added link to new thread
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
