So nice to pop in and see that you are getting out there and dating! And I really admire your attitude about the process. Funny, I signed up for match.com a couple of weeks ago…with no real intent…no picture and the bare minimum of details to browse. I was just curious I guess what the pool looks like and wondering how I feel about getting back into it. In the end, I don’t think I’m ready and I closed the profile. But I think my curiosity is at least a good sign. I guess I am still alive and hopeful for the future. One step at a time…
It is good to read your recent posts and hear about your experiences. I agree…if the guy won’t make effort, time to move on. You deserve someone that shows up and makes effort. Looking forward to hearing more about Mr. VP of the Grocery. At the very least, just enjoy it.
El
Me 52, H 56 T10 M7, 2nd MR for both 2 Step Sons (19 and 21) BD: Fall 2020 D finalized: July 2022 XH Married AP soon after D day.
Don - Glad you enjoyed by blog-like post…lol. I’m a details person. It is kinda the way I write. I realized after I wrote it that I hadn’t given the new guy a nickname but you all have done that for me. VP it is. I didn’t hear from him today but I didn’t expect to. He asked me out yesterday morning and texted me briefly last night so I think he has been on the scene long enough to know to give someone space. It was refreshing that he didn’t do the “wait three days before you contact her” thing that seems to be some sort of rule. And he didn’t say we should get together again soon and leave it up to me. He asked me if I wanted to go for a walk on a well-known lakeside trail, at 11 a.m. on Sunday and he would bring the coffee or hot chocolate…whichever I prefer. That kicked him up a notch on the attraction list…no work required on my part.
RE: my reunion with Jack. I hadn’t had a conversation with him since May 2020. I sent him a happy birthday text last year on his birthday and we exchanged two texts so I didn’t expect to hear from him. At Christmas, I picked up my phone and saw that I had missed a Messenger call from him. He has a history of butt dialing me on his phone but not on Messenger so I just sent him a message saying Merry Christmas and asking him if he meant to call me. We had a bit of a catch up conversation and he told me he had recently moved here. We had a couple of conversations the next week and he asked if I would teach him how to make Thai curry. I thought it would be fun so I agreed and we set a date of last Saturday. It really was great to see him. I broke up with him because I knew we were not a great fit over the long term and I would have only wanted to change him. I still care about him a great deal and it would have felt really nice to cuddle with him on the couch but I promised myself I wasn’t going to go there. It just wouldn’t be fair to either of us. To be completely honest, it was way harder to walk away on Saturday than I anticipated but it was absolutely the right thing to do. Anyway…the curry invitation was likely a big temperature check in disguise and I think he got the message.
BL - thanks for the luck. I’m bringing my dog with me. She’s a pretty good judge of character…not. She loves everybody…lol. Disneyland is only a month away now. I don’t know about my kids but I’m counting the days.
Elbereth - Not sure I would go with Match if I were you. There are other apps that don’t require you to spend $150 just to see who liked your profile or sent you a message. Plenty of Fish is pretty decent in my area. You do have to pay if you want to see profiles of people who liked you but you can message people and receive messages without buying a membership.Facebook Dating is another option and costs nothing. I’ve also met a few people from Tinder but they have more “hook up” people than other sites. Having said that, those people tend to self-identify pretty quickly once you start talking to them. There are also lots of people on there looking for a relationship. They tend to be the people who put some effort into creating their profiles. I don’t swipe right on people with pictures only or people without pictures (my assumption is that they are either really unattractive or married or wanted by the police). Whatever the reason, they have something to hide.
I will definitely let everyone know how date #2 goes. Wish me luck!!
Elbereth - Forgot I wanted to say something else…lol. I wasn’t sure I was ready when I first started either but I am so glad I took the chance. Even though I haven’t found my person, I do credit OLD and the guys I met along the way with being the last piece of the puzzle I needed to find to truly move on from my marriage. It wasn’t a rebound thing at all. It was just such a relief to know that life had not ended for me and there were still men out there who would find me attractive and see me as more than just my kids’ mother. At that time, it really did make all the difference and allowed me to take that giant step forward I needed to take. Hopefully it will do the same for you when/if you decide to give it a shot. (((HUGS)))
