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Sage, I had totally forgotten about the business you guys run together. Listen to kml. Get a lawyer. Honestly you may need two depending on your state and the size of your circuit court system, the business matter may become a civil litigation in the realm of contractual obligations and such. I'm not sure how profitable the business is and how hands on either of you are in it. If there are other partners or employees it could get really messy. Find a good, honest and available divorce L. They will let you know if the business end is something they can handle or not, or if it's something worth dealing with out side of but in conjunction with the divorce proceedings. I know you live in a large metro area like I do so there is no court here that would handle both the business and the divorce unless it was one party buying the other out, or division of shares. You're divorce is incredibly complicated from a legal stand point. I'd offer him mediation, if he's feeling really generous, but doing this without a lawyer won't benefit either of you.

Last edited by wayfarer; 01/26/21 03:59 PM.
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Thank you all for the suggestions and support. I have taken notes!

A little background: I have a lot of legal experience (long complicated litigation when I was with my previous company, sold a MM$ company and other experiences). I can speak legalese, unfortunately. I am surrounded by people who have my back and also have legal backgrounds (Ls, forensic accountant, mediator, guardian ad litum, among others). I had a consultation with the best divorce L in my city about a year ago and came prepared with a long list of questions relevant to my particular situation and she gave me a run down of what was reasonable to expect, etc.

I am the bookkeeper and financial person for both our personal life and our business, so I have a firm grip on our finances and access to everything. We amicably split the house and finances before H moved out. We have custody, child support and alimony, and the split of our business to figure out. Our business is in the media industry and a valuation would be very complicated. I have a rough range in my head of what buyout figure is acceptable to me. I believe that a court valuation would come within spitting distance of the same figure range.

I have roughly mapped out my future and know what I need to start my own business and become financially independent. I have financial/professional plans A, B and C figured out for myself, so I have backup for the backup should one fail.

I don't plan to ask for more than I would easily get if we took this to court.

KML, we are in a community property state and I financially supported him to build our business until it could support us and then I began working with him. It can support two households, but perhaps not also buy me out right away.

I don't know if he is fully aware of how much I contributed to our business and what it would cost to replace me and maintain the level of financial success we enjoyed. Is that something I should talk to him about? He is very sensitive about 'starting this business all on his own' (ha) and I know it's an ego thing for him, but I also have a vested interest in his success because I need support and alimony until I am able to be financially solvent. What would you guys do?

I will definitely have everything reviewed before I sign a thing. In the meantime, all the suggestions, experiences and thoughts are really helpful to me, so keep them coming!

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WF, thanks for chiming in as well!

I think where I am at in this moment is to start negotiating between us in good faith. It is complicated enough to warrant us both working with Ls (and we will have Ls review everything), but not so complicated that we can't at least start the process on our own. If we can't get to a reasonable conclusion on our own, we agreed that we would take it to mediation, then collaborative, then litigation. H has way more to lose than I do should this escalate to the next level(s). I hear everyone's concerns, I really do! And I am grateful for all the advice.

New Thread:

Still learning, but leaning into the future....

Last edited by job; 01/26/21 10:18 PM. Reason: added link to new thread
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