I wanted to blog and update today. So I am home from National Guard duty and back to work, I can't sit around with everything going on. Even though I told my W that I didn't want to be friends, she has contacted me every day for something. One day she wanted to take the garbage can out since I was still gone and she had a neighbor mow the lane. Another day she commented about how much she missed our D13, she went to spend a few weeks with my parents in another state. The most recent was that she had been thinking a lot about Father's Day and offered to do something with her Dad that evening so that I could hang out with him during the day. I said that I would appreciate that very much and then she informed me that she was putting something together for both of us. I had to text her today so that I could get a document signed and will be seeing her this evening. She continued to text and ask about how work was going and that she hoped I had a restful weekend planned. I am really confused, for someone that does not want me to be her H, she is contacting and doing quite a lot for me.
Welcome to the friend zone. Won't be long before she is confiding in you about the new guy in her life.
I wanted to blog and update today. So I am home from National Guard duty and back to work, I can't sit around with everything going on. Even though I told my W that I didn't want to be friends, she has contacted me every day for something. One day she wanted to take the garbage can out since I was still gone and she had a neighbor mow the lane. Another day she commented about how much she missed our D13, she went to spend a few weeks with my parents in another state. The most recent was that she had been thinking a lot about Father's Day and offered to do something with her Dad that evening so that I could hang out with him during the day. I said that I would appreciate that very much and then she informed me that she was putting something together for both of us. I had to text her today so that I could get a document signed and will be seeing her this evening. She continued to text and ask about how work was going and that she hoped I had a restful weekend planned. I am really confused, for someone that does not want me to be her H, she is contacting and doing quite a lot for me.
Welcome to the friend zone. Won't be long before she is confiding in you about the new guy in her life.
Yeah I have no interest in that.
So put an end to it. Go to BenB's thread and look at AnotherStander's latest post to Ben. PURE GOLD
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
It's been a little while since I have posted and I thought I would share my recent experiences. I was released from National Guard Duty and I went right back to work, could not see myself sitting around. I was feeling low during that time and reached out to a mutual friend for validation, obviously, that did not go well and W called upset. I have to agree with her on this point, I have been putting our mutual friends in the middle of the sitch. That was really good for me and I have been able to look for more positive venues of validation.
I talked with my DB coach and she told me to stop listening to everyone's advice and do what she has been telling me. So, I am committed to working on the friendship with the W. No matter the outcome of our R, I will be in a better place for it and I will know that I made the effort. Not saying that it has been easy, she told me the other day that she was planning on moving out of her parent's house and getting an apartment. I'm not sure why this has been such a difficult thing for me to handle, but I have been doing well when talking with her about it. She actually said that she was surprised at how supportive I was being and that she was really nervous about bringing up the topic with me.
Each day everything gets a little better, but I would really like to get off the roller coaster. I know that this is a long process and not to expect anything and to GAL, but some days I just want to scream.
I think you're confused on what your DB coach means and what, for example, Steve means.
You can be friendly and build rapport without being dragged into the friend zone. It's about boundaries IMO and sticking tight to your values.
Frankly, I'm not 100% sure what you mean by saying you are "committed to working on the friendship". I am not friends with women that aren't my romantic partner, sister, mother, cousin, grandmother. Never have been. Doesn't mean I'm not friendly with my W's friends or work colleagues and women in social circles. What does working on the friendship mean to you? Also, what does your DB coach mean by "working on the friendship"?
These DB coaches are trained by MWD so I fully believe there are good reasons they say what they say.
H 34 W 29 BD 3/12/18 Divorce Busted Spring 19
It is not things that bother us, but the stories we tell ourselves about things.
