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Being a lady of a certain age, I can attest to the need for a/c. Don’t pick this hill to die on, Andrew. Seriously......

I guess my memory or my reading comprehension are subpar because I don’t remember you and CL actually dating. I remember you were very interested and I seem to recall a few things that may have been dates, but I thought she was the one who was still married and kind of held you at arm’s length. In fact, I’m remembering her as someone who friend-zoned you quickly but then again, like I said, maybe my memory is subpar. Isn’t she the one that you are somehow related to? Anyway, what is my point, I’m sure anyone who is still reading is asking/wondering? While I think it is important for you and S to be open and honest with each other regarding past relationships, friendships, and maintaining current, ongoing friendships with past romantic interests, everyone has a past and like kml, I think as long as you are open and honest, everything should be fine. I have a number of male friends, including my best friend. Sparky has a number of female friends and is still friendly with his first ex wife. As long as we are not hiding things, it is all good. People of a certain age are just going to have baggage. Fact of life! If you are on the up and up (and I have no doubt you are, and S has an issue with you being friendly with other women, the issue might be in her end rather than yours. That sounds harsh and I’m not sure how else to explain it. Sorry!


Me 52, H53
Bomb drop 9/29/2014
Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014
Marriage #2 12/31/2019
5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships)
6 grandkids
Dawn70 #2898410 06/25/20 12:11 AM
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Originally Posted by Dawn70
I guess my memory or my reading comprehension are subpar because I don’t remember you and CL actually dating. I remember you were very interested and I seem to recall a few things that may have been dates, but I thought she was the one who was still married and kind of held you at arm’s length. In fact, I’m remembering her as someone who friend-zoned you quickly but then again, like I said, maybe my memory is subpar.

No, your memory is not subpar, it’s spot on. Several of us have brought this up multiple times in the past. CL did friend zone him. They never even kissed. They went to lunch a few times. Somehow Andrew turned this into “dating” while others here didn’t at all see it that way. So really S should not be jealous of a lunch friend where zero intimacy, physical or otherwise, ever took place. Of course that doesn’t mean nothing could happen in the future. But compared to B, well there’s no comparison.


DonH
Midwest
Me 56
WAW-EXW 55
Met 11/95 / Married 5/00
Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06
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Originally Posted by Dawn70
Anyway, what is my point, I’m sure anyone who is still reading is asking/wondering?

Lol!

You are a fun loving person.


Andrew, three recommendation from me.

1) Set rules for S13 and the upkeep and looking after of the bunnies.

You mentioned before how you and S are planning on starting an allowance for the boy. This is a good opportunity to teach him respect and caring for animals, earning his way and the feeling of pride and self satisfaction that comes from that, as well as accountability and responsibility. Allowance is a good thing, hand outs not so much. Have some meaningful and helpful tasks that are S13’s to look after. (Kind of two things in that one)

2) Invest in an air purifier for the bunnies.

My Dad has one in his room at the care home. Expelling accumulated gas from an ostomy bag produces a smell that is not all that pleasant. The filter doesn’t run continuously, he turns on the filter only when needed. It cleans up the room pretty fast. The filter is a small unit that sit on the floor, approximately 8” wide, 18” high, 18” deep. Has a charcoal filter (I believe) and its pretty quiet. Probably a good investment for your air quality. Depending on how much runtime is needed, just keep it on continuous, or get a plug timer if it’s only needed every now and then.

3) Invest in central air conditioning.

Once you have your entire house regulated and temperature controlled you will wonder why and how you lived without it. Imagine, all the rooms the same temperature of 22C, winter or summer. No noise from various window shaker air conditioners; a central A/C has the noisy fan outside and not next to where you are - sleeping (or trying to), reading, cooking, whatever. It’s 32C here today and I am so comfortable anywhere in my quiet house. Yes, it is a pretty large investment. And, in my opinion, worth it. Oh and so many bonus points with S with this one!

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Last edited by Cadet; 06/25/20 12:05 PM. Reason: fix quote html

Feelings are fleeting.
Be better, not bitter.
Love the person, forgive the sin.
Dawn70 #2898459 06/25/20 01:22 PM
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Originally Posted by DnJ
2) Invest in an air purifier for the bunnies.
I was wondering about one of those. Thanks for the input
Originally Posted by DnJ
3) Invest in central air conditioning.
Heck, this old house with no insulation in the walls (it's the way they built them in the 1890s) and single glazed windows barely can manage central heat much less central air.

I've thought of upgrading but even with now planning on staying in the house another 10+ years a lot of those investments still don't make sense. To do this "right" I would need a project (and budget) to:
- strap the outside of the house and add foam board insulation and then siding over top
- upgrade the electrical from 80 amp to 200
- redo ducting which given that the existing ducting was installed with a chainsaw through main support beams is scary
- new properly insulated windows

Easily close to 60K to do on a house that is only valued at 170. I'm not a believer in "you'll get it back when you sell" or paypack periods that are measured in decades.

This place honestly just isn't worth it. For less money and hassle, I could just sell it and move into a place that already has those features. And yes - I have no desire to sell.

We do have some upgrades planned - replacing the rotting back porch is a big one. Lots of stuff that can be done with a crow bar, putty knife and can of paint. Making the house comfortable and working around the inefficiencies.

Originally Posted by Dawn70
Being a lady of a certain age, I can attest to the need for a/c. Don’t pick this hill to die on, Andrew. Seriously......
Yep - the point I was trying to make was that this was a great exercise in communicating as opposed to a fight about the thermostat. We had an issue and talked it through. I'm feeling positive about it all.

Originally Posted by Dawn70
I guess my memory or my reading comprehension are subpar because I don’t remember you and CL actually dating.
We could quibble about definitions and who felt what and when but it doesn't really matter. From S's perspective, CL is someone who theoretically could be seen as a "threat" and I worked through that. No need to pull a full Bill Clinton impeachment inquiry and carefully say "I did not have sexual relations with that woman" laugh - with due apologies for bringing politics into the forum.

New thread
Tell the cicadas to shut up
https://www.divorcebusting.com/foru...flat&Number=2898458&#Post2898458


On BD
H52, W50
T27, M26
S21, D23
BD-9-Mar-16
D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18
I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good.
But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
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