You are totally right about not projecting how you would’ve handled onto someone else. Again, you have no idea what he was doing with his time on the ferry. Just because you would’ve handled it a certain way doesn’t mean someone else will automatically handle it that way. From what you’ve said so far, I think he sounds like a great guy who just has a lot on his plate right now. And as LH pointed out, if he’s recently divorced, he may be experiencing some uncertainty in this new world of dating. Hang in there!
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids
Dawn makes a very good point. Because we handle things one way, doesn’t mean that someone does the same.
You got excited, and rightfully so. It was a let down not to get to see him and you feel like he chose sleep over you. And it stinks because your hopes were up and i think you are anxious to see if that connection is really there. If he’s had a draining weekend, I get why he would want to catch up on sleep. He probably really does have intentions of wanting to see you, and he probably wants to be on his game and well rested. He could be a little nervous too.
I’m the queen of making excuses for others, so take this with a grain of salt.
Give him a chance. I think he likes you. I think he wants to do more than a quick tired coffee. So give him a chance to come to you. I think he will
Brook is probably still getting this dating thing figured out.
With his uncle and everything he had to drop to attend to him, he has lots in his plate. And being single he has plenty to keep his house in order. I suspect he as some custody of his daughter, so groceries, cleaning, etc... may have been pushed off for the family emergency.
And until recently he was living a full single life. I suspect not just sitting around waiting for a great gal to drop in to it. You two have had some marathon text sessions and lots of other chats. I am sure he enjoyed every minute of those. However, he’s got to reorganize his life a bit to ensure he has the time to invest and spend with you. He most likely has fallen behind on some things.
Also, he is tired. Now, if I were to be going on a date with you, especially first date, I would want to bring my best self. Not a tired, need to get ready for the next week guy. First impressing and all. He does want a second date I’m guessing.
You do have a tendency to push all in; a trait I rather like about you. Just dial down the expectations a bit, or you’ll drive yourself crazy. You’ve got lots of time, and no need to rush things.
DnJ
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
You guys really are the BEST!!! Who needs a date when I already have such quality people in my life...online or in person.
Dawn - You do make a good point. I will stop projecting what I would do on other people as well as what I wouldn’t do. I will continue to work on accepting people where they are at. And...I think LH is right about him being newly divorced. I think our divorces happened around the same time but his marriage ended later than mine. Sometime in the spring, I think as he said his daughter’s upcoming grad was the catalyst for his wife wanting out and that was just last June. They had a do-it-yourself divorce too so it didn’t take too long as there weren’t any lawyers involved.
G - We really are a lot alike, aren’t we? I’m choosing to think that is a good thing. You are right. I did get really excited. Hard not to given our shared history and all of his comments about the universe having a plan and something happening between us. Maybe he kind of scared himself a little bit and has backed off on the communication because of it. It’s not like we were declaring undying love or anything like that, but six-hour texting marathons could be a bit of a set up. Also...not possible to maintain over time and still have a life. So...I will take a step back myself. Luckily my sister is returning from Croatia on Tuesday so that will be pretty easy to do.
DnJ - I really do have to stop pushing all-in, don’t I...lol? I think I just got caught up in the romantic storyline...reunited after 36 years...lol. It does have a “universal plan” feel to it. And you are right...he has enjoyed our chats. He has told me a number of times that he likes talking to me and feels he could talk to me all night. So...I will choose to believe he still feels that way and is still looking forward to our date.
Small update... we did chat a bit tonight and he seemed normal. I really do need to chill out. I guess I was just really looking forward to the weekend and I let my disappointment negatively affect me. Anyway...gotta get some sleep. Kids are up early tomorrow so no sleeping in for me even if it is my day off. (((HUGS)))
