JC, ain't no one more hard-headed than I am! Read my threads. Oh my, sometimes I was lunkhead for some of the non-DBing things I did.
These sitches are not easy. DBing is tough. Detachment is hard. That is why we call it a process. Just keep working at it.
But please do not let her talk to you that way. "Are you white trash?" respond with "I refuse to discuss anything with you when you are being disrespectful."
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
I think having separate conferences is like we are not mature enough to put our kids first before ourselves. We don't have to get along, I would prefer we did, but we are 4 girls parents.
I’m not sure if I’ve commented much or kept up on your sitch or not. Sometimes they run together plus people sometimes change screen names further confusing me - which does not sometimes take much to do. . But from the 30,000 ft level just looking quickly from the outside, I have to agree with your wife’s statement. Why can’t you go together to something like this? Is this not what co-parenting is all about? What is in the best interest of your kids? And if you really do have rock solid reasons not to go with W, like something really bad happened last time you did or something, why are you scheduling HER appointment? I’m not getting this at all.
What are you trying to accomplish?
What would be best for your children?
DonH Midwest Me 56 WAW-EXW 55 Met 11/95 / Married 5/00 Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06 4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D
I never chimed I’m before, but your wife has a point. There is no reason why you need separate parent teacher conferences. She asked you if the scheduled conferences times worked. Did they? If not, she seemed willing to rearrange them. And think about the teachers! They are taking time away from their families at night trying to fit every kid in. Don’t make it more difficult on them when it’s unnecessary. You need to choose your battles.
I usually tell my ex-wife, "Parent teacher conferences are this week. I'm going Tuesday at 3pm." It's her choice to come, not come, or schedule another time. The teacher usually e-mails a notice, too. In practice only I go. She says she's busy and I tell her I'll let her know how it turns out.
Originally Posted by "JC08"
I could have emailed her copies of them or sent with kids, set up my own times, and let her do whatever she wanted with the schedules. I'm just guessing that she would have asked the same questions she did today, which would have required no response from me.
"We can't go at the same time"" would be unlikely and a non-sequitur if you sent her a copy. She may have said, "When are you going?" or "I could go on Tuesday or Wednesday, are you coming too?" In her shoes I would also have had a negative reaction to your texts. I wouldn't have called you names, of course.
This is emotional stuff. No big deal. I goof about as often as I succeed.
I rarely do this, but I disagree. There is nothing wrong with going to conferences by yourself. Not every pair of exs can stand to be in the same room as each other. My W's parents are like that. They are like sodium metal and water. Combining them is explosive.
Again, my issue was you arranging her times for her, but JC08 you seem to get that now.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
. But from the 30,000 ft level just looking quickly from the outside, I have to agree with your wife’s statement. Why can’t you go together to something like this? Is this not what co-parenting is all about? What is in the best interest of your kids? And if you really do have rock solid reasons not to go with W, like something really bad happened last time you did or something, why are you scheduling HER appointment? I’m not getting this at all.